The CORN Crib


You Know You're From Nebraska if ...

* don't have to be told what Aksarben is or that it's Nebraska spelled backward.

* take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state.

* lie to other Nebraskan's about being from Omaha.

*...Kitty Clover potato chips and Robert's Milk were the best part of the meal.

* know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney.

*...Back East means Chicago.

* know what U.P. stands for.

*...when people talk about a fly-over state, you think they're talking about the pheasant season.

* think pheasants are the most beautiful bird in the world.

*'re proud that you have the only unicameral legislature in the country.
You wonder what really goes on in those bicameral legislatures, anyway.

* know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling.

*'re proud that Nebraska isn't one of those square states like Wyoming or Colorado.

* can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face.

* don't associate trees with national forests.

* know what a Runza is.

* miss the hog reports on the radio, even though you never owned any.

* don't have to be told what "knee high by the Fourth of July" refers to.

* can't figure out why Johnny Carson left in the first place.

* think Highway 6 is more scenic that I-80, which you think is the best thing to come out of Iowa.

* can drive from Grand Island to North Platte without falling asleep.

* know that Grand Island has nothing to do with water-except the Platte River, which doesn't really count.

* have signed a petition demanding sainthood for Tom Osborne.

* are still surprised when radio stations don't include polka on the top 40.

* can still see the ruts of the Oregon Trail in your backyard and keep promising the wife that you'll get them fixed.

* don't understand why other states even bother to try raising beef.

* believe that the worst steak in Nebraska is still better than any other steak, anywhere.

* believe that vegetarians should be banned in Nebraska.

* think the feedlot smells like money.

* really believe there is no place like Nebraska, and you are right.